A life skill coach personal development idea:

Wise Self Talk and the Secret of Energy

BY TOM RUSSELL, SuperWisdom Ezine Reprinted with permission.

Learn to recognize negativity (from any source) as a rope you don't have to grab.

There was once a man who was on a path leading to the top of a high mountain. The man could see the mountaintop far away on the horizon. The path went through several villages. And at each village a curious thing happened. Several citizens would gather and throw ropes at him. In the beginning he would take hold of the ropes, trying to be friendly. But as soon as he did they would attempt to pull him off his path.

The traveler soon learned not to grab hold of the ropes. He saw through the tricks of the villagers. They wanted nothing to do with the path he was on. Furthermore, they wanted him to stop his journey and settle down with them.

From then on the ropes would flop right on the ground in front of him. Occasionally he would see himself almost forgetting as he started to reach down and pick up the rope. But he stopped himself in time. He refused to pick it up! And he learned to bear the wrath of those who threw them. They most certainly didn't like it that he was independent.

The traveler made it all the way to the top of the majestic mountain. The view was vast and the air was pure. Eagles and other rare birds flew around the mountaintop. There was a mountain lake with refreshing water. There was everything his heart had longed for. And it all was his because he refused to catch the ropes!

The Power of Self-Talk

Spiritual self-talk is a tremendous tool for developing your power of choice. It helps you expand the brief moment of decision between stimulus and response.

And here's where the following 18 super-thoughts come into practice. They activate your power of choice! They keep you aware in those brief seconds of time just before you reach for the rope. They are enormously powerful. But they have to be applied! That is the thing about SuperWisdom: it has to be placed into practice in your daily life.

Here are the 18 most powerful things you can say to yourself:

1. All too often we slip into silent mental arguments with people. These mental movies are a huge energy drain. When you see yourself starting to drift into a mental argument with someone say to yourself, "There are higher things to think about."
2. The SuperWisdom Notebooks often refer to the enormous power of instant recovery. You don't have to be caught by the past, either recent or distant. Now is new! You need not obey five minutes ago or five years ago. Say to yourself often, "I am new now!"
3. With the following declaration you can catch depression, anxiety or any negative emotion when it first appears. It is like a snowball rolling down a hill. At the top of the hill the snowball is small and can easily be stopped. Negativity is the same way. It is very weak when it first starts to form. At the first sign of negativity from others or your own thoughts say, "I need not let you enter my life and take over my mind."
4. So much mental anguish is caused by defending ourselves when we make a mistake. If you are going to be a concert pianist or an airline pilot or a professional sales person, you most certainly will make mistakes. It is part of the learning process. People who are afraid to make mistakes never grow. Free yourself! Give yourself permission to make mistakes. And when you see you've made one be quick to say, "I am wrong."
5. One of the interesting things about the spiritual journey is that just before a breakthrough to a new and higher level your inner world becomes shaky and confused. A part of you wants to go back and settle down with the stability you've been experiencing. But you can't go back. New and greater things are just ahead for you. When you see this happening don't try to hold things together. Say to yourself, "I wonder what will happen if I go a little further?"
6. Fear was once beautifully defined as "False Evidence Appearing Real." Anytime you feel fear approaching there is only one way through it — DO IT ANYWAY! Say to yourself, "I'm going to call the bluff and see what happens."
7. We really have only one problem — we don't remember our spiritual lessons! If we could remember to apply what we already know, swift success would follow. It can be very difficult to remember in this nutty world, but with the following you'll see yourself remembering more often. When you remember your lessons right in the middle of the challenge you take a giant step upwards. Say to yourself, "What do I need to remember?"
8. You can use the following statement whenever you see a rope tossed at you in an attempt to make you negative. You can use it with people, the media, your own thoughts, everything! With this statement you are free! Nothing can touch you. Why? Because you do not react! You do not grab hold. You simply say to yourself, "I have nothing to say to that."
9. We need a super powerful technique to overcome the spin of the inner world. Like a hamster in a cage, the mind wants to spin around and around. This is a giant waste of energy. But how do we stop it? Often, throughout the day, you can use the following statement to remind yourself of the present moment. Notice the contrast between the spin state and the awareness state. Which feels better? Say to yourself often, "I am here."
10. The few people pursuing genuine self-transformation are willing to contemplate a truth that is most unpopular. This truth is a giant spiritual bulldozer that destroys the old house of fear and anguish. Once the old house is knocked down the lot is cleared and construction begins on a new and modern high rise building. This very unpopular Truth will lead to swift growth. Say to yourself, "The pain is in me, not out there."
11. The further we go on the spiritual journey the more a definite attitude begins to form — We see that challenging and demanding experiences are a good thing for our development. In the beginning we thought it was all about peace and comfort. But we come to see that we really don't grow in comfort. We grow when things are rough. We learn the most when all our inner resources are challenged. This is a request to the Universe, to the power that is the author of self-transformation. Say, "More please of whatever I need."
12. Sensitive gauges tell operators when their equipment reaches high pressure zones. Likewise, we too have super sensitive instruments inside of us. Like our ears and our eyes, they are organs already present. But they have to be developed. Their efficient operation will release abundant new energies. How do you bring them back to life? Ask yourself, "Am I in a negative state right now?"
13. If you could find a way to meet every challenge, a way that would guarantee success because it guarantees an inner victory, what would you do? There is such a method and it's right here. It is based on the supreme law of life, The Law of Growth. Human beings are either regenerating or they are degenerating. There is no "staying the same." When faced with any new challenge, any difficult person, any problem at all say to yourself, "Time to take the next step up."
14. When you don't pick up the ropes, what happens? Well, one thing is that the unaware person throwing them gets mad. "What gives you the right to refuse my demands?" they say by their brazen manner. Your freedom makes them very insecure. They will get angry, try to make you feel guilty, threaten you, and when that doesn't work they will flip flop into the nicest, sweetest person you've ever seen. When that doesn't work they will go back to anger again. Claim your freedom! You have a right to your own life. Let them get mad if they must. Say to yourself, "If you know what is best for me, why are you so miserable?"
15. The SuperWisdom Notebooks say, "Always leave a nut with his own nuttiness." You don't have to pick it up and carry it for him or her. What a relief to give up false sentimentality toward people! It is a sad but true fact that most people are stuck in the mud and want to stay there. But its lonely in the mud so they want to pull you in! Say to yourself, "That is your fear (or worry, problem, regret, etc) not mine."
16. You can see how often in this article we're given tools to apply toward other people. Other people are NOT our problem. Our problem is our own reaction and the fact that we grab the rope and yell GO! But since difficult people are this world's most plentiful resource, it is imperative that we have several effective tools to deal with them. Here's another one. Say to yourself, "No, I am not going to behave back to you the way you behaved to me."
17. When doubts swirl around you, when hostility seeks to enter and maul your good feelings, when darts are thrown at you by vindictive people, when your own thoughts accuse you and tell you their favorite lie — you'll never make it," when all this happens you can win every time by quietly and firmly telling the negativity, "You've got the wrong (man — woman)."
18. A great deal of wrong advice is given that centers around "self-esteem" and trying to see yourself with virtues you really don't possess. Pretense is always painful. And pretense always blocks self-observation. You don't have to pretend. You can know! The SuperWisdom Notebooks say to simply see yourself as a learner. This viewpoint of yourself is true and places enormous spiritual resources on your side. Say to yourself, "I want to understand what it's all about — I want to learn!"

Conclusion

Seeing negativity (from any source) as a rope that you do not have to grab brings everything into clear focus. We begin to understand that we really do have the power of choice. We also begin to see how we've been careless with this power because we were afraid to displease negative people and our own negative thoughts. Yes, there may well be a protest, both from others and from our habitual nature. But so what! The lofty and delightful feelings you will begin to experience will reinforce the fact that you're on the right path at last.

And the affect on your sales work will be enormous. Since sales pros must often deal with a hundred or more negative ropes a day, applying Wise Self Talk will place you in a commanding zone. Your Power of Choice will be reclaimed and placed at the center of your self-development efforts. From it will flow a thousand lively streams. You'll know you've found the Master Key at last. And you'll be delighted at how practical it all is.

©1998 Tom Russell, reprinted with permission.

Tom Russell is a financial planner by profession and has extensive experience in applying spiritual principles in everyday life. He studied personally with Vernon Howard for twelve years and conducts stress management seminars throughout the Southwest. His SuperWisdom website assists people in applying spiritual principles, for it is only in the application that understanding emerges. The site features information about his free weekly newsletter that focuses on the spiritual development works of Vernon Howard, J. Krishnamurti and Gurdjieff.

SOMETIMES, IT'S BEST TO CHILL
By Jamie Walters, reprinted with permission

On the way to the office today, I noticed a man in the car ahead of us. He was in this thirties, and driving a Champaign-colored sports utility vehicle. Yet that's not why he stood out from the line of cars working their way toward downtown San Francisco.

This fellow was clearly stressing out. He'd press on the gas, jam on the breaks, shift lanes, speed past a few cars only to stop and repeat the process. After each cycle of doing this, I'd notice that he would end up right where he started: right in front of us. I could see his knuckles, red and white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly.

I found myself wondering, as I observed him, what he thought was so important that he would waste all of that energy just to get to the same place he already was. This guy was choosing to see the morning traffic not as a reality, and certainly not as an opportunity, but as a hostile enemy that was keeping him from . . . don't know what. Getting to the office five minutes earlier? Being ahead of the car in front of him?

Did he have any idea of the choice he was making, and would he someday find himself regretting that choice?

Choosing consciousness

Consciousness means that you're aware of where you are, and why you're choosing to do certain things or be a certain way. You're aware of your moods and their potential effect on others, and you're aware of the effect you'd ideally like to have on others. You're aware that when you eat certain things or are around certain people, you feel or respond a certain way. You realize that, in many cases, the things that you complain about are simply results of your own choices. And you use your observations the same way that you use any other data gleaned from research: to make better choices, to bring your ways of being into line with the model that is most healthful, rewarding, effective or enjoyable.

What to do?

To be conscious, start with practicing to be present. Sounds weird, doesn't it? Think about it, though. How often are you really just not paying attention? How often do you, without much thought, make a decision or do something that you later regret? How often do you put yourself or others in danger because you're doing two or more things at once — for example, eating or talking on the phone while driving (or perhaps you're thinking about something else altogether, and aren't really even in your body while driving)? Meeting with someone while preoccupied with something else?

Practice tip #1:

To practice being present, notice where you are and what you're doing throughout the day. Have the intention to be conscious of what you're doing, while you're doing it. If you're driving, drive. If you're meeting with someone, be fully present at that meeting, focusing completely on what someone is saying. If you find your mind wandering to something else, just notice that and return your attention to your primary activity — whether that's driving, meeting, talking on the telephone, eating, relaxing, reading . . . whatever.

Practice tip #2:

When you notice yourself tensing up or unnecessarily speeding up — sitting at your desk, for example — consciously notice "I'm going faster than I need to be going" or "I'm tensing up and I don't have to tense up." Gently straighten your back and sit upright, relax your shoulders and hands, and feel the breath going into your body and then out of your body as you breath. After that moment, bring your attention to what you're doing and where you are. Notice a gentle smile forming as you inhale and exhale, and resume whatever you were doing.

© Jamie Walters