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How do you want your life
to be different?
Do you have a dream ?
Do you have a problem you need to solve?
Do you have a relationship that needs healing?
Do you have a job that needs to be done?
Do you want your life to be better, easier and more satisfying than it is today? |
 You do?
Then I suggest you read a book by Arlene Harder, MFT, that is called, appropriately:
If you watched Getting Through the Gate to Change, you would know that Gavin, that charming character above, is guardian of the gate. Learn how to access your own inner "Gavin." Realize that you don't need an expert to give you "the" answer of how you can be successful. You have many answers within yourself.
Don't take my word for it!
Read what others are saying:
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"A thoughtful, complex, layered look at how we change and what we need to do to create change in our lives. Arlene Harder gently, wisely and sensitively takes the reader along every step of the way, providing just the right questions, tools and approaches to make the journey fulfilling and satisfying.”
Belleruth Naparstek, MA, MFT, author of Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal and creator of the Health Journeys audio series |
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“Arlene has expressed the art of purposeful living with the clear message that it is indeed the questions we ask that guide our life…after all, the future is but a plan and change is guaranteed. Powerful questions combined with magical metaphors and stories will guide the reader to transformational change in living life on purpose and not settling for problems. Questions lead us into being comfortable with ‘not knowing’ and realizing that when you may feel lost….you are really just exploring.”
Patrick Williams, Ph.D., Master Certified Coach, Founder of the Institute for Life Coach Training and author of Becoming a Professional Life Coach and Total Life Coaching |
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“Arlene Harder offers a method for engaging the reader that is missing in so many personal-growth books. The simple, but not simplistic, questions she poses encourage an interaction between the thoughts of the reader and the information presented. Thus readers become active, rather than passive, participants in developing the self-understanding that is essential to change.”
Ivajoy Draper, PhD, MFT, Hypnotherapist |
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“There have often been times, earlier in my life, when I could have used the blueprint to change that is described in this book, but nothing like this was available. Fortunately, my latest and best decisions have been determined through the careful step-by-step analysis of obstacles and choices I was able to make by asking myself the questions in this very powerful book. Thank you for writing it.”
Patricia Kelly, Radiological Technologist |
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“Every once-in-awhile a personal-growth book provides a refreshingly new approach to transformation. Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life is just such a book. Reading it is like having a gentle guide encouraging you to be the kind of person you want to be, and showing you how to draw upon the strength you already have within you.”
Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and James Sniechowski, Ph.D., authors of The New Intimacy - Discovering the Magic at the Heart of Your Differences |
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“In attempting to make a personal change, many people thrash about willy-nilly, stumbling along a poorly marked path. They could use a strong dose of Arlene Harder’s remarkable book which helps a ‘change-seeker’ move from haphazard to clearer directions for bringing about a desired change. People can find doorways to inner wisdom and learn to sharpen personal questions that point the way. Harder shows that making changes doesn’t require magic, just clarity, courage, perspective.”
John Fabian, Ph.D, author of Creative Thinking and Problem Solving |
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Read an excerpt from the preface:
If you are interested in self-improvement, you are probably not a stranger to questions. Your days are most likely filled with questions. Unfortunately, many of those questions are not worded and delivered in ways that foster your progress. They are the nagging voice of the critic—said from you to you with anger, contempt or deep regret. These are the familiar questions that include the following: Why did you do that? Why didn’t you do that? What were you thinking? How could you be so stupid? Why are you so lazy? Why can’t you be successful (or any other word that would fit here) like your friends? What’s wrong with you? Why are you so weak? Don’t you have any will power?
This is a small sampling of how questions are often used to stop us from going forward with confidence or looking backward with compassion so we can understand and learn from past choices.
This book is filled with questions of all kinds. The spirit of the questions is to promote encouragement, compassion, self-understanding and to provide fuel for positive action in the future. These are the questions that lead to forward movement even when looking at the past. These are questions that reveal buried dreams and uncover tools to make them come true.
. . .Some questions will engage your intellect, some your heart and soul. When a question hits an emotional nerve, you know there is work to do and this book helps you unravel obstacles rooted in the past. If some questions seem unimportant to the point to want to skip a section it could mean that you have already done the work but, more likely, you have found an area where you are resisting the process of changing or even understanding your issues around that area. Questions are powerful even when we think they are unimportant to us. It is almost impossible to stay passive when experiencing a penetrating questioning process.
— 2008, Lynne Goldklang |
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Read an excerpt from the Introduction:
Where am I? Who am I?
How did I come to be here?
What is this thing called the world?
How did I come into the world?
Why was I not consulted?
And if I am compelled to take part in it,
Where is the director?
I want to see him.
—Soren Kierkegaard
This is a different kind of self-help book. Here you won’t find an expert telling you what you need to do to change your life. You won’t find three, four, five, or more “easy” steps to success. Instead, you’ll find lots of questions.
However, by the time you have finished this book, I believe you will have discovered how important the questions are — and that you already have more answers inside of you than you could ever imagine.
. . . Our brains are programmed to be hooked by questions, like the ones in this book. They are the same questions I’ve raised with many of my clients who wanted to change something they didn’t like either in themselves, or in the circumstances in which they found themselves. As they considered a question, I could almost see a light bulb go off over their heads and watch their tension fall away as their answers allowed them to see things from a new angle. Whether or not they acted on that insight was another matter, but at least they had an additional piece for the puzzle in their lives.
Unfortunately, there is a good chance that you weren’t taught to ask questions of yourself. From nursery school through graduate school you tried to give the “correct” answers on tests. While those answers may have validity, if they are the only things you learn, your life is limited to what someone else decides you should know or think. When you learn to ask questions, you expand the world beyond school and the limited experience of family and friends.
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Buy the book:
You can ask your local bookstore to order the book
or you can buy it from the publisher,
Personhood Press,
for $14.95, or from Amazon.com . |
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