Acknowledging the Many Kinds of Connections We Have With Others
A Celebration of the Life of Ruth L. Swihart
This celebration of life demonstrates how we each interact with one another in many different ways.
When you are willing to stray from the formal funeral service and have individuals who knew a person offer their comments, a more holistic picture of the person is offered. Here I give you a picture of my Aunt Ruth and when you are through reading the brief comments, I'm sure you will have a good sense of who she was and what she meant to people, even though you didn't know her personally. This was no generic individual being remembered.
By going beyond the standard, generic service to include remembrances by the family truly celebrates the life of the person you love. Imagine how you could expand this idea even further and have a wide group of people share their comments about a friend, sister, mother, daughter, co-worker, neighbor, spouse or even a community worker who appreciated the efforts of the person whose life you are celebrating.
Comments by Marjalie Schrock at the funeral of her mother, Ruth Swihart:
We, the children of Ruth Lucile Heestand Swihart, ask you to remember and celebrate with us the life of this special lady. No matter how you knew her, we will be remembering the same person. She was always just herself. She was always interested in each of us. She was always all-forgiving. She was always all-accepting. And she always saw the good in each of us. If this is not the lady you remember, you're probably in the wrong room. [Can you imagine many people at a funeral service making such a statement?]
"Mrs. Swihart"
Some of you are recalling Mrs. Swihart. You may be remembering a lady who wondered if you wanted to learn to read, or to cook, or to sew, or to cut your meat, or to set a table, or to sing a song, or to play a game, or to meet people, or to use the library, or to speak English, or to study your Bible, or to pray to your God. The list goes on and on. And if this was what you wanted, she would teach you. She chose to share the tools she had for making life work.
It was Mrs. Swihart who made colonial costumes and modeled them far and wide. It was her enthusiasm that molded many an awkward group into a congenial unit. It was her freedom to be silly which created a party among strangers.
Mrs. Swihart was also the lady who might have stopped you along the street to tell you you'd look better if you cut your hair or feel better if you lost weight. Many have shared their Mrs. Swihart stories with us. Thanks for that.
"Ruth"
Many of you knew Ruth. Ruth was a friend, and a sister, and an in-law, and a cousin, and an aunt, and a confidante, and an advisor (ready or not), and a role model as a whole and healthy human being. When you were with Ruth, you had her full attention. She cared what was happening in your life and you knew it. She listened and she heard. She accepted, she forgave, she commented, she advised. She wanted you to see life as she saw it, to trust as she trusted, to achieve peace and move forward as she did.
It was Ruth who was excited about our changing world. She watched transportation go from horse-and-buggy to space flight. She watched communication go from back fence chatter to instant transmission of picture and sound. She watched creature comforts evolve from fireplace and hand-held fan to central heating and air conditioning. She watched social awareness go from neighborhood sharing to international concern. She called it all progress because she was so receptive to change. Even though we might not agree that all of it has been progress, it would be hard to fault her adaptability as the world marched forward.
It was Ruth who had her first motorcycle ride at age 80, who called me at age 81 to say she was coming for winter carnival in Vermont in January, who drove alone from Florida four weeks ago at age 82, and who planned to be in Sweden for a great-nephew's wedding this summer at 83.
It was Ruth (Aunt Ruth. probably) who kept family members in touch with each other. (She planned this celebration for us, you know.) Family was important and she took great satisfaction in our shared heritage. She left us a book of Heestand memories, notes of her Swihart memories, and a sense of her great satisfaction in being part of these two terrific families.
"Ruthie"
To Dad this was Ruthie, a name that has carried with it a sense of his affection. It describes her, doesn't it, this little lady who shared his life and ours! I've heard "Ruthie" several times these past couple weeks and hear each time the same warm feelings and a bit of the protectiveness Dad always felt for one so small.
"Bongie" and "Grandma"
A grandma is supposed to be a special sort of person — and this one was. To Joe's five children, to my four, and to Barbara's three she gave each the individual attention no parent finds enough time for, and our children remember. Seven of the grandchildren called her Bongie — a name begun by one and perpetuated by the lady herself. It was her name. No other grandmother was a Bongie (nor wanted to be, I would guess). But to her it felt distinctive, which she surely was. Six great-grandchildren call her Bongie, as do friends of the grandchildren and a number of adults who appear fascinated that she would enjoy such a dubbing. To each one she has displayed her best grandmother features-loving, caring, sharing, supporting, rewarding, enjoying, encouraging.
"Mother" and "Mom"
To three of us she was Mother and Mom and, as such, she's been all of which we have spoken. She's loved us, taught us, worried about us, listened to us, helped us, taken care of us, and forgiven us. We, in turn, have loved her, worried about her, and given her practice in listening and caring and forgiving. This loving, adventuresome, untamable little lady has taught us how to live and, now, how to die.
It there could be such a Mrs. Swihart or Ruth or Ruthie or Grandma or Bongie or Mother or Mom, should we doubt that there could be an all-loving, all-forgiving, all-accepting God?
Thank you, little lady.
Comments by Joe Bill Swihart, son of Ruth Swihart:
This past week I had the most incredible experience since being present for the births of each of my children. My sisters agree that they also had a most incredible experience. We helped Ruthie with the completion of her life. Not many people, I am sure, are blessed with the opportunity that we had.
As Marjalie said, our mom was willing to try almost anything. She recognized, before we did, that a most fantastic journey was beginning and she eagerly accepted this challenge with her typical smiling face. We recognized that she was at peace and saying goodbye to all who visited her and we, too, said our goodbyes.
We tried to return some of the love she's given over the years. We talked to her and her visitors. We laughed. We had honest discussions. We told her that we loved her long after she ceased to respond. We knew that she had willingly embarked on this adventure with that famous "peace beyond understanding."
Finally the end was near. We gathered close to her and the three of us, along with Aunt Zelda, told her that we were there with her and that, any time she wanted to, she could go on home. Immediately there was a little struggle and Ruthie squeezed out of that body in a most glorious way.
We have had our moments of grief and we'll have more, but they will not last long because we know without doubt, and we want you to know too, that that little lady is where she wants to be. |
