The Joys of Being 50-Plus

BY BEVERLY ADAMS

This delightful poem celebrating the pleasure of having your children grown and out of the house is to be sung to the tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean" and was written in 1983 for a 40th high school reunion.

The Joys of Being 50-Plus

Once again we are only a twosome.

Our kids from the nest they have flown.

If you think that we're sitting here grieving,

Why your head must be m-a-d-e of bone.

They're scattered from here to Alaska.

They think we're decrepit and deaf [pronounced deef].

They're married and traveling and working,

And we love when their visits are brief.

CHORUS:

Fifty eight! Fifty eight! We're laid back and cool

And we're much alive.

Fifty-eight! Fifty-eight!

How did we ever survive?

Our daughter's wedding was lovely.

Our son's was better yet.

For the cost of launching a daughter

Compares to the national debt.

Our new role is being an in-law,

A think that's not easily done.

When the lovers brew up a quarrel

And "that girl" lambastes our dear son.

REPEAT CHORUS

We wonder when they will have children,

A grandchild for grandpapp's knee.

But life now is not so simple;

They wait 'til they're past thirty-three.

They come with their dogs and their children

The house is a mess that won't cease.

We rejoice in the tales of their new lives.

When they leave we rejoice in the peace.

REPEAT CHORUS

When our children call us long distance,

Their message is cryptic, it seems.

But it's different when we call our children.

Then they t-a-l-k just volumes and reams.

Oh, I envy this new generation.

Father thinks he was born too soon.

We're told kids are all out ascrewin'

In our day we only could spoon.

REPEAT CHORUS

We men are weary of working.

Let our wives who think it's the nuts

Take over those tiresome payments

And we will sit home on our butts.

I thought I would go on a diet.

The skinny old girl you would see.

But I hunger and thirst for goodies

And this here is the re-al me.

REPEAT CHORUS

Oh, we women are tasting the pleasures

Of aerobics and college and arts

And we wish our dear husbands would change too,

'Cause we don't want to live with old farts!

We have time now and money to travel.

It's great to see Egypt and Spain,

But I love to get home to my All Bran

And my bed board that helps the back pain.

REPEAT CHORUS