Getting Through Treatment From Day to Day

These ideas for getting through treatment from one day to the next are excellent ideas for anyone with a serious illness.

It is interesting that the last names of both people who are on this page are divided by only one letter. This is not a mistake but a happy coincidence. Both of these people give us ways to get through the day-to-day trials and tribulations of cancer treatment — or treatment for any serious illness. She offers twelve ideas and he has ten. Both are well-worth putting on your refrigerator and reading every day.

In 1994 Mary Rose McDermott was 29 years old and four months pregnant with her first child when she learned she had Hodgkin's Disease. After getting treatment at Roswell Park Cancer Institute and having a healthy baby, she formed a group called "Pregnant With Cancer: Your Support Group for Hope." Her ideas for getting through treatment are excellent.

A Dozen Ways to Get Through Cancer Treatment

BY MARY ROSE McDERMOTT, reprinted with permission

1. GET A SUPPORT PERSON!

The most important tip I can offer to anyone diagnosed with cancer is to find the one person who can put everything else aside and be there to support you 110%. No, you will not find your support person in the phone book, but you will discover from friends and family members reactions who will be there for you. Whether it is a spouse, parent or friend, lean on that person and rely on them to hold your hand during the hardest times.

2. YOU COME FIRST!

You and your health are the most important thing right now. Be concerned with only yourself and do not worry about what anyone else thinks. I was surprised to find during my illness that people very close to me were so overcome with the idea I had cancer, that they were no help to me. And others were only concerned with how my disease affected their lives. In either case, you have to ignore them and do what is best for you.

3. LAUGH

I know this is a serious matter, but truly "laughter is the best medicine." Joke about the doctors and nurses. Find humor in the tests and treatment you are enduring. Chuckle about your bad "hair" days. A smile will make even the darkest times a little brighter.

4. QUESTIONS

Ask lots and lots of questions. Ask the doctor. Ask the nurse. Ask others who have cancer. The more you know and understand about your illness, the better decisions you can make about treatment, and the better you will feel about yourself.

5. APPOINTMENTS

Most people think of going to the doctor once a year, but for a cancer patient, this can be a daily experience. To make these sessions easier, write down any questions as they arise; you can take this list with you and therefore will not forget anything important. Also, make a calendar; schedule friends and family to accompany you to every appointment. This person can be your second set of ears. They can check your question list to make sure all is covered. And ask them to take notes; much information is given by the doctor, and having a set of written notes is helpful to refer to later.

6. CANCER COCKTAILS

While enduring treatment, the doctor told me to drink lots of fluids. Since I was nauseous most of the time, I found this very difficult to stomach. I did discover one drink I could always get down ( cranberry juice, for infection, and ginger ale) and called it my "cancer cocktail." My husband would make my cocktail in fancy glasses with straws and little umbrellas. I felt special with my fancy drinks and found them easier to get down.

7. WALK

Even on your worst days, get out of bed or off the couch and take a short walk. Set a small goal, to the end of the block and back. You will be surprised how fresh air, a change of scenery and some exercise will make you feel better. And once outside, you will probably walk further than you originally planned.

8. HEALTH AND BEAUTY AIDS

Set up a special area in the bathroom with your own toothpaste, toothbrush, Vaseline, nail kit, etc. Tell your family that no one is allowed to touch your stuff. This will help eliminate germs transferring through these personal items.

9. RINSE, RINSE, RINSE

Keep a box of baking soda in the bathroom. After every meal or snack rinse your mouth. I do not know if this was medical or in my head, but I never got one mouth sore during my treatment.

10. KEEP A JOURNAL

Rate each day (+) for a good day, (0) for an okay day, or (-) for a bad day. Then write a few sentences about how you feel on that day. After a few weeks you will see a pattern of when to expect good days or bad days. This helped me mentally prepare for what was ahead.

11. THINK POSITIVE

Think and look for the positive aspects of every treatment and situation. Focus on the positive no matter how small. Do not dwell on the negative.

12. MAKE YOUR GOAL

Think of one obtainable goal, a fantasy vacation, weekend getaway or celebration party, that will be your reward when you are feeling better. Mine was a trip to Disney World. When I was really sick, I thought about my trip to keep me going. After treatment, we traveled to Florida. As I stood in front of Cinderella's Castle, I cried as I realized my dream had come true. I had survived another day.

Keep the laughter. Keep the faith.

© Copyright Mary McDermott

DAILY SURVIVAL KIT FOR SERIOUS ILLNESS

BY THOMAS L. McDERMITT

Reprinted with permission

NOTE: A print of this wonderful list of survival suggestions is available for free in any quantity by emailing Hope Carla Raymond at this address:

dskfsi@yahoo.com

[I've written her address this way to avoid having Hope get a lot of spam, but be sure to use the correct @ sign.]

You don't have to agree with all of this all of the time. But, if it generally speaks to you, try to read all or parts of it everyday, or have it read to you. Part of the help is in the doing, regardless of your attitude or emotions on that day. On some levels the help is gradual and often not evident.

1. Today I am going to try to live through this day only, and not dwell on or attempt to solve all my problems at once; just focus on the piece that is today. I can do something for several hours that would be difficult to even think about continuing for several months.

2. Just for today, I am willing to accept the possibility that there is a purpose to this suffering; that it can be a source of meaning and growth for myself and others, though I may not always recognize the ways. And it seems possible that this suffering will not be in vain, because of what may be some kind of existence beyond.

3. Just for today, let me remind myself that I am basically a worthwhile person, worth loving, despite my faults and limits. I deserve the efforts of others to help me through my illness.

4. Just for today, I want to be aware that it is all right to want too much from others at times. Illness brings out and intensifies the small child in all of us. And if I feel hurt when those who care for me cannot be there, it may help to remember that they have needs, frailties, and limitations of their own. A lack of response does not mean that they are personally rejecting me.

5. Today I may feel the need to complain a great deal; I may have little tolerance; I may cry; I may scream. That does not mean that I am less courageous or strong. All are ways of expressing anger over this mess, of rightly mourning my losses. Endurance itself is courage.

6. It is my life at stake now. So maybe today I can allow myself to be a little less concerned about the reactions or impressions of others. Maybe I can allow myself to feel a little less guilty or bad about what I did not accomplish or give. Perhaps today I can be a little more gentle toward myself.

7. Surviving this is all so difficult. At times it seems impossible - that I have had enough. Down the line I will know if and when I have had enough, when I cannot push the limits any further. I will have the right to choose to stop, without feeling that I am "giving up." But today I think I can deal with this illness. Sorrow runs very deep, but I think I can rise again.

8. Just for today, maybe I can give healing "the benefit of the doubt." The drugs are powerful; the natural healing capacity of my body is powerful. And who knows, perhaps there is healing power in my will to struggle, and in the collective love and will of others.

9. Just for today, perhaps I can take heart that we are all connected. And I may still have some things left to contribute to the family of man; some light to add to the light. Even now my endurance (however imperfect) is a gift, an inspiration for others in their struggles.

10. It seems reasonable that there is a season for everything, and a time for every purpose. Pain, weakness, and exhaustion may distort my senses and spirit. Today, however, I can at least find some hope in nature's way, if not in some master plan. The chances are fairly good, and it seems worthwhile to hope, that I will have some cycle of wellness yet.

—Copyright © 1989 Thomas L. McDermitt