Support4Change Newsletter Nov. 4, 2009

Support4Change Newsletter November 4, 2009

LINKS TO ARTICLES IN THIS ISSUE
Introduction

Share a Video, Win a Book

A New Better Tomorrows Program

What Did You Learn from Letting Go of Our Adult Children?
The Inconvenient Child
Couple Reacts to a Near-Death Experience
Training Therapists to Lead Parents/Adult Child Groups

Picture of Words of Encouragement Everyone Needs

Words of Encouragement Everyone Needs CD

Listen to an excerpt


Cover of Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life

Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life

Read the book's Introduction


Heal Strained and Broken Relationships

Learn about the Better Tomorrows Program

Arlene Harder
Introduction: New Pictures, New Components

By Arlene Harder, MA, MFT, Editor

If I didn't visit the hairdresser every month, this new picture would show the many gray hairs I've added from taking so long to finally complete the Better Tomorrows Program. Launched on February 1, I was sure the program for healing strained and broken relationships would be done months ago!

On the other hand, if being pleased with how a project turned out could restore the brown by magic, I wouldn't need to pay anything to keep my hair colored. Certainly I am happy because I can bring you the following information today about a . . .

  1. A video on YouTube that illustrates the core of healing relationships.Share it with others and enter a raffle for books from the Better Tomorrows Program.

  2. A new logo, new components, and new free introductory material at no obligation to purchase anything for Better Tomorrows Program.

  3. A questionnaire and another raffle for those who have read Letting Go of Our Adult Children: When What We Do is Never Enough.

  4. A book that bridges Australia and the United States through the story of a woman who overcomes neglect and abuse to find her African-American family.

  5. A story of near-death experience that draws a couple together.

  6. A request for therapists who want to lead groups for parents who have problems with adult children

Share a Video, Win a Book

Since this video illustrates the seventh chapter of Healing Relationships From the Inside Out, I would love to have lots of people see it -- not only to learn something about Better Tomorrows, but also to learn how they can improve their relationships even if they don't participate in the program.

Therefore, if you think this would be of interest to readers of your blog or website, go to YouTube and copy the code for the video or just link to the YouTube page.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RaZ3K08yIA

If you send me a link to the page on your blog or site where you have my video, or where you have a link to the YouTube page, I will enter you into a weekly raffle. Each week for six weeks I will randomly choose a winner for two books (see next feature). At the end of six weeks I will put all the names into a major drawing for the complete Better Tomorrows Program.

What a deal. All you have to do is share the video. And if don't have an online presence where you can tell people that you like the video, why not email your friends and/or go to YouTube and rate the video.


A New Better Tomorrows Program 
I am pleased to announce that Better Tomorrows has been broken down into new components to make it more accessible and affordable for a wider audience, while maintaining the program as a whole for those who want to experience all of it. So if you have difficulty with a relationship inside or outside of your family, I want you to know that both of these are packed with helpful information. You can purchase each for a low price or get both for a very low price.
 
To learn which component of the program can help you the most, be sure to read information on the Better Tomorrows Program.

Cover of Exercises for Healing Relationships

WHEN YOU FINISH THE BETTER TOMORROWS PROGRAM YOU WILL:

Have a new and more positive perspective of your situation

Know how to let go of regrets and resentments

Learn to forgive yourself and others

Have a lighter and more joyful heart

Livefree of the pain you feel whenever you think of the person with whom you now have a strained or broken relationship

Discover that some of your old wounds are gone and you are well on your way to healing others

Be able to manage the ego that so often gets in the way of achieving the kind of relationships you want

Know how to become a recovering perfectionist, if that has been part of your difficulty in a relationship

FREE INTRODUCTORY INFORMATION

For introductory material without any obligation, you can now receive two preview exercises, an audio guided imagery, the introduction to Healing Relationships from the Inside Out, plus a bonus gift of The Law of Attraction in Action, Volume 2. See Heal Your Relationships With Better Tomorrows.


Letting Go of Our Adult Children
What Did You Learn from Letting Go of Our Adult Children

A reader made my day a few weeks ago when I opened my inbox and read the following, which refers to the book Letting Go of Our Adult Children, available online at no cost::

"This is an unabashed fan letter :-)

"Fifteen years ago, when I first began looking for books on this topic in the biggest bookstore in the US, there wasn't one. There was, however, a plethora of books on how to heal from inadequate parenting.

"I knew that as my generation aged, they'd begin to show up, and they did. One by one, I bought them all.

"But here's yours online, offered free, and it's far and away the best I've ever read on the topic. Hands down. I thank you for your hard-won peace and your ability to convey it, from the bottom of my wounded but healing heart. "

-- S. S.

Sharing this gives me a chance to tell you that I am gathering information from people who have read the book either online or in print. I want to know what readers have gained from the book, how their lives are different because of it, and what they still would like to learn about the healing process.

At some point I would like to use that information to create a second version of the book. So if you are willing to give me this feedback (anonymously if you wish), please fill out a very brief questionnaire. When you do, I will enter you into the raffle (mentioned above) where you can receive one of the new components of Better Tomorrows, Healing Relationships From the Inside Out -- or even the complete program.


The Inconvenient Child

Lindsay Lewis, co-author of this inspiring book, is a member of my Mastermind Group in the Wonderful Web Women online community and since we seek to encourage one another, I looked forward to receiving her book, The Inconvenient Child: An Abandoned Australian Child Struggles to Survive and Find her American Father. So when she sent me a copy of her 416 page book, I was curious as to what I would write about it for my readers and for Amazon.com since I was impressed with its length and with the cover illustration, which strickingly shows the pain of a child looking for love from a mother who turn her back on her.

But the real pleasure in having the book began when I started reading the story of Lindsay's long-time friend, Sharyn Killens, who was born to Grace, a pretty blonde Australian who became pregnant from a liasson with an Africian-American merchantman in 1948. With both Grace and her grandmother wanting to hide the fact of her mixed race child at a time when prejudice was alive and well in white Australia, the child was sent to a convent-orphanage run by what Sharyn called the "Sisters of No Mercy." From there she went to an even worse hell-hole of Hays House that was eventually shut down because of its debasement of girls under its charge.

It is said that in order to survive a neglected and abusive childhood that a child needs a "cookie aunt or grandmother," someone whose simple acceptance of the child shines love into an otherwise bleak existence. Sharyn's savior was an African-American champion boxer and his friends in a house filled with love in Sydney's red light district for a few years before she was five.

Clearly Sharyn was an "inconvenient" child, as I believe many children are when they interfere with a parent's narcissistic needs. Yet in the arc of her life there is inspiration and hope. From abuse and neglect, from drug use and early motherhood, to life as a cabaret and cruise ship singer, this is a page-turner of a book as it moves toward the remarkable discovery of her father and acceptance by her American family.

I highly recommend this book, and not just because the co-author is a friend. It would make an inspirational gift.

And speaking of gifts. If you want to give gifts from Amazon.com for Christmas presents, please use Support4Change as an entry there. It will help maintain this free website at no additional cost to you. Just go to the page for this book (see link above) and even if you don't buy that one, anything else you purchase during your visit will be credited to Support4Change.

A Couple Reacts to a Near-Death Experience

What does it feel like to have a near-death experience? Barry and Joyce Vissell, a husband and wife team specializing in marital relationships -- they have shared many of their stories with Support4Change -- recently discovered what such an experience meant to each of them.

In June of this year, Barry drank something that nearly killed him and out of the experience he and Joyce learned much of what it means to almost lose someone you love. How does love affect such an experience?
 
You may want to visit their web site at www.sharedheart.org/ for their free monthly e-heartletter, their updated schedule, and inspiring past articles on many topics about relationship and living from the heart.
Jane Toler
Training Therapists to Lead Parent/Adult Child Groups

In two weeks I'll be going to Dallas, Texas, to lead a workshop with Jane Toler, PhD, LPC-S, who leads a monthly group of parents estranged from their adult children called Healing Estranged Relationships (H.E.R.). Now she and I are creating a national program teaching therapists how to use the Better Tomorrows techniques, as well as the H.E.R. program. Before too long we hope to have many local programs for parents who want to heal their hearts and their families as they deal with their adult children. If you are a therapist, or know of one, who would like to learn how to work with this under-served population please contact me.

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