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| Introduction: Birthdays, Videos, and Perfection |
By
Arlene Harder, MA, MFT, Editor
The idea for all this began when I wanted to learn how to create DVDs for the Better Tomorrows program, as well as for future promotion of my websites. Therefore, a month ago I bought Sony's Vegas Movie Studio 9 and started teaching myself how to use it. Figuring I would learn more if I had a real project on which to practice, I decided to create a birthday greeting for my brother, John, who celebrated his 75th birthday on May 25. Ordinarily, I would have sent him a funny card, or an e-card from Jacquie Lawson, my favorite designer of electronic greetings.
However, a birthday video seemed like just the thing to combine his greeting and my learning. I could use his paintings to create a unique slide show that could teach me how to transition between scenes, resize and move pictures, and use audio. Of course, I was nervous because I knew it wouldn't be as good as it will be in the future, when I will have mastered more of the program's bells and whistles (hopefully, many of them anyway). Nevertheless, I started working on it.
What I discovered (again) was that even when you don't know how to do something perfectly (or know next to zilch about a topic), there is great pleasure, and no small amount of accomplishment, in jumping right in and tackling a project. Before you know it, you are farther down the road to success than you would ever be if you had to know everything before you took the first step.
I was reminded again that these three steps are as good for healing relationships as they are for learning how to create something for the Internet.:
- Read a little. You need to understand the crux of your situation, or, in the case of software, how to open the program and get it set up.
- Try what seems to work. In the past you've been able to resolve problems that are similar to the one you're dealing with, so maybe those techniques will work this time, perhaps with a little tweaking.
- Ask questions Forums, support groups, and professionals can help when you're stuck For example, if you want to learn Vegas Movie Studio, LearningVegas.com has excellent tutorials I highly recommend. Unfortunately, I didn't really discover them until after I was through with the video, but they will come in handy for my current project.
I could have spent many more hours fiddling with the timing and style of transitions. I could have eliminated some pictures and recorded a more harmonious song. However, having a date certain by which it was to be done, I didn't have time to keep polishing indefinitely to the inth degree.
Now I share it with you, my readers, some of whom may know much more about video production than I and will notice all the flaws. But my willingness to put this out there, just as it is, is proof of the progress I've made in becoming a recovering perfectionist. In fact, although I was stumped in how to upload the video for almost two weeks after it was finished, I forced myself to not touch it again by using techniques I've recently learned.
If I had done that, I'd be presenting myself as though I was more talented on May 25 than I really was. And that's what perfectionists have to learn: they are only as good as they are at any point in time, and that has to be good enough because that's all any of us can be.
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In our Special Features section is a Quick Break based on a lovely video called Enjoy the Ride that has inspiring affirmations and beautiful pictures. As you watch it, notice the sayings and select one that you find particularly applies to you today.
"Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away."
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On the same page as the Choose an Affirmation Quick Break above, there is one called "Choose an Affirmation." The idea here is to pay attention to some delightful pun and tell share it with someone today. You will have to do this deliberately because, if you're like lots of us, you will hear or read a joke (often in Reader's Digest), and can't remember it later. Here is an opportunity to take a couple of minutes and commit one to memory.
How about this one:
"The dead batteries were given out free of charge."
You may notice that the suggestion to remember puns goes along with the affirmation above about keeping the energy vampires away. |
I met Brennan Smith and Matthew Walters, co-founders of Downloads for Change, at a conference last September and am impressed with their hypnosis download products.
Here are several programs that may interest you:
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| Give Yourself Permission to Feel |
Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD, is the author of The Pursuit of Perfect: How to Stop Chasing Perfection and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life.
In Permission to Feel, his new article recently added to Support4Change, Dr Ben-Shahar points out that while it's sometimes necessary to "keep certain
emotions out of sight (when we're on the street), it's harmful to try
to keep them out of mind (when we are alone)."
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| The Simple Grace of Susan Boyle |
More than 111,000,000 people have watched Susan Boyle's appearance on the television show, Britain Has Talent (as of June 9, 2009). Innumerable words have been written about this woman whose grace touched our hearts.
Donna VanLiere, author of Finding Grace: A True Story About Losing Your Way in Life . . . And Finding It Again, explores what is to be learned from one woman who stood on stage and blew away all of our preconceived expectations.
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I have long enjoyed receiving the Shared Heart newsletters from Joyce and Barry Vissell, and in this new article from that posted on Support4Change, these relationship experts ask the question, Are you too sensitive?
According to the Vissells, maybe we need to see this question in a different light.
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