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The Support4Change Newsletter |
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April 28 , 2007 |
Arlene Harder, Editor |
Volume 1, Number 3 |
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 Need Humility? Get a Computer
When putting together this monthly newsletter, well, hopefully monthly but mostly sporadically, I noticed a serious mistake with the last newsletter. All links for the feature of "Five Articles You May Have Missed" went to articles from the newsletter the month before!
Anyone who's been around a computer for longer than a day will understand how it happened. I used the first newsletter as a template, using the same format, except for changing the colors, which are being done in three versions. That's the advantage of having a computer.
However, while I changed the name and description of each article, I forgot to change the links. Is there anyone who hasn't made the same kind of mistake?
But what has most surprised me about discovering my error a couple days ago is that no one wrote me about it. It could be that no one even tried to check out those articles, finding other things they liked about the newsletter. Nevertheless, if you notice something like that in the future, either in the newsletter or online, please let me know. As a recovering perfectionist I've learned that developing a little humility builds character — and helps prevent future errors.
Arlene Harder, Founder and Editor of Support4Change
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 Q-and-A Club Questions:
March 25 to April 28, 2007
To learn more about the Q-and-A Club read Community of the Curious and Courageous.
REMEMBER: See the introduction for each week's questions for additional questions and comments.
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Category: Strengthening Friendship and Relationships
See introduction for all the questions from the week of March 25 to March 31 |
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| Assumptions Are the Termites Of Peace |
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 When you remember the times you've misjudged a person, what is the characteristic (or characteristics) that most often causes you to make an assumption that turns  out to be wrong?
As you look at the pictures on this page, what would your reaction be if the couple on the left were black and the ones on the right were white, or if they were mixed race couples? |
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Category: Exploring Social and Political Issues
See introduction for all the questions from the week of April 1 to April 7 |
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Relationship Between Democracy and Personal Responsibility |
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 Do you have a responsibility toward your LOCAL COMMUNITY? What is it? Why do you believe that? How do you fulfill your responsibility?
How do you believe we can best teach people to be responsible for themselves to the greatest degree possible? What evidence do you have for your answer?
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Category: Deepening Faith and Spirituality
See introduction for all the questions from the week of April 25 to April 21 |
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Examining Why You Believe What You Believe—Part One |
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 What do you see in nature that causes you to believe in the religion you profess, or to not believe in a formal religion?
How do your relationships, ethnicity and sex affect your choice of a religion or spiritual practice, or do they cause you not to believe in a religion?
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Category: Exploring Social and Political Issues
See introduction to this question from the week of April 22 to April 28 |
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Examining Why You Believe What You Believe—Part Two |
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 How do you describe God when you want to tell someone what He/She/It is like? For example, do you believe God is a "being" like humans but without form, or more like a "presence"? What personal and spiritual experiences have you had that cause you to believe this?
What is there about your life that causes you to conclude the creation of the universe occurred as you believe it did?
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An Idea from Someone I Admire
How Can You Tell When I Want You to Pull the Plug?
 I greatly admire Art Fabian, who has given me permission to use a number of his photos on the website. In fact, you can see Photos by Art Fabian Appearing on Support4Change, an introduction to him at Photos by Fabian, and look at his own website.
But right now I don't want to talk about his photos, as outstanding as they are. I want to share with you an e-mail he sent early this year to his daughters and siblings (I'm one of his two sisters). The e-mail dealt with a "living will" and was one he'd seen circling the Internet for some time (you may have already seen it), but he sort of liked the tone of it – flippant!
With his permission I put it on a page titled, How Can You Tell When I Want You to Pull the Plug?. But he also sent a more serious piece that he'd been wanting to elaborate on for some time. This piece, "Explaining My 'Living Will' Intentions," is the sidebar on that page and makes a nice complement to the Five Wishes document I've had on the site for several years.
His e-mail reminded me of my article on When is the Time to Talk About Stuff That's Hard to Talk About? This has encouraged me to actually do some of the planning with our children that I've been putting off. I'm good at preaching. Not always so good at following my own advice.
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A Book for Children and Grandchildren
Purple, Green and Yellow, By Robert Munsch
I haven’t met a child yet who doesn’t like to color with bright marking pens, especially if they won’t come off in the wash. This story about a little girl and her fondness for coloring offers an opportunity to talk about where—and whom—to color.
With Purple, Green and Yellow Robert Munsch has done it again. This award-winning author and poet knows what it takes to please an audience of small people. Just think of reading Goodnight Moon over and over and over again. It takes real skill, even though it looks easy. And if you've ever wondered how someone gets to be a great children's story teller and poet, be sure to read The Biography of Robert Munsch. That alone is worth a visit to his website, though you are sure to love the poems he wrote for some of the children who write him letters.
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Books for Adults
Parents, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles Will Like This Selection
  Did you ever have a job you thought you had finished but hadn’t? That’s what happened to me on my Childhood Affirmations Program, the site that complements Support4Change. Without going into details, let's just say that it's all the fault of an assumption. I ASSUMED that 150 reviews on parenting books were linked to the main resources page.  
However, I started to wonder what had happened when I checked my statistics and saw that we had almost 7,000 visitors last month, and zero books purchased from Amazon.com. I figured that at least a few of those readers should have been interested in some of the books. I would have earned at least a little to defray some of my online expenses.
  That's when I discovered I had failed to complete one vital task—linking the pages that contained the book reviews so visitors could find them! [See intro to this newsletter for another experience in developing humility.]
There’s nothing I can do at this point to bring back the months when people could have bought books if they had known about them. But now I've corrected my error, dealt with my disappointment, and am telling you about the books so if you are a parent, grandparent, or friend of a parent, you’ll know where to go to get good information on many aspects of parenting.
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Reader Comments Worth Repeating:
On Perfectionism, Cancer Humor, Introverts, and "Tweeners"
Enjoy these comments I've received from readers recently:
 The sidebar of Does Cancer Have a Sense of Humor? tells Christina's story about her ability to move through a difficult situation with a bit of humor. On my blog I repeated the story and asked readers, "When have you been able to defuse a tense situation, or insert a little humor into a depressing situation, by thinking quickly and humorously?"
Robbie Maeker's answer to that question was "Not enough!" But he also sent a wise perspective on perfectionism, which you can read at A View of Perfectionism From "a Ole Farm Boy" Who Knows What He's Talking About. Growing up on a farm has taught him something about trying to be perfect.
Detra Edwards contributed "I Am An Introvert," which is a sidebar on Caring for Your Introvert. For extroverts who don't understand introverts, this page should be required reading.
When Olivia Henderson sent me an e-mail asking my opinion about whether she should be concerned about her son, it gave me a chance to explore with her when parents should be concerned about a grown child's ambition, or lack of ambition. See Tweeners and Boomerang Kids Have All Kinds of Temperaments.
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Getting a Different Perspective:
Riding Under Towering Clouds to Solve a Problem
 Once again I bring you a picture by my friend and masseuse Lynne Fearman. She has given me permission to use pictures from her gallery of pictures on the Segil Art Gallery website. This month we feature "Plain Riders."
What does this have to do with you? Well, it's part of the Stepping Into Pictures feature of Support4Change. Take a look and see whether you might be able to step into one of her pictures and imagine a problem solved that was unsolved before.
Click on the picture for an enlarged version.
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Five Articles You May Have Missed:
From Launching Your Children to Managing Time
 The Launching Stage Can Test a Mother's Patience
By Bev Adams
An exasperated mother describes her teen children's annoying behavior with a poem set to "Home on the Range."
The Marvelous Gift of Resting
By Judith Petry, MD
Learn how to relax in a chair and rest your body without having to do anything, including reading, listening to music, or talking -- and in doing nothing discover an increase in your vitality.
When One Person Does All the Talking
By Joyce and Barry Vissell
If you allow another person to dominate a conversation, or do the majority of talking, here are some ideas to improve your communication.
The Nature Connection
By Arlene Harder
A technique for using photographs to ponder life's mysteries, work through conundrums, solve problems and deepen spirituality — even if you've run out of vacation time, your in-basket is over-flowing, and you can't drive out to a wilderness area.
Can You Manage Time?
By Lea Brandenburg
This successful life coach says that time management doesn’t exist. All you can do is manage yourself and how you choose to use time.
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Today's Gratitude
Michael Milkin, Pure Water, and More
Last November I created an entry in my blog called Gratitude in the Morning in which I shared thanks I give for specific things that enrich both my life and the life of others. Periodically I add thanks to the list, which is now on a Things For Which I Am Grateful on Support4Change.
Here is what I give thanks for today:
Today I give thanks for life.
Today I give thanks for Michael Milken who has gone from junk bond king and a stint in prison to become a major philanthroptist able to bring public figures together to help solve large world problems.
Today I give thanks for those who test city water so I can rely on my water supply to the greatest degree possible.
. . . and today I give thanks for much more.
You can share your own words of thanks by using the Support4Change contact us page.
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© Copyright 2007, Arlene Harder, MA, MFT |
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BIRDS IN AUSTRALIA 
