Embracing Life With a Hand That's Hard to Play
BY ARLENE HARDER, MA, MFT
Do the circumstances of your life seem impossible to deal with? Learn how to embrace them and move on more quickly to something better.
PLEASE NOTE: As with all the imagery scripts on this website, you can use this in several different ways. First, simply read it as you would read any article, with the purpose of learning something and exploring how that might apply to you. On the other hand, you may want to get into the piece more deeply by reading it several times to yourself, pausing when you come to breaks identified by three periods (. . .) in order to have time to experience that section in whatever way feels comfortable to you.
Or, you can try to experience it as a regular imagery exercise is usually done, that is, first read it into a tape player (or have a friend or family member read it for you) and then, as you listen to it, close your eyes and follow along in whatever way feels right to you. To learn more about the technique of imagery, I suggest you read Exercising the Right Side of Your Brain, Part One of Images and Symbols: The Glue of Habit, the Lubricant of Change..
As you get ready to experience positive, self-affirming, joyful feelings even in the midst of your challenging situation, take a moment to settle into your chair or sofa or to lie on the bed and get as comfortable as possible. . . . And as you begin to relax, gently close your eyes, if you have not already done so, and take one or two deep breaths, releasing the air as fully as you comfortably can and letting your muscles relax as completely as possible. . . . As you feel more and more at ease, I invite you to remain relaxed and alert, following my words in any way you would like, and allowing yourself to anticipate how wonderful it would feel if you were always able to experience the many moments of pleasure and joy that are part of life, just as you accept the challenges of life. . . .
And now imagine it is very early in the morning, just as the sun is rising, and you awaken with a vague awareness of a dream you can't quite remember. As your mind comes out of the fog of sleep, you know the dream had something to do with being too focused on the down side of your situation. Oh, there is a down side, no doubt about it. But this morning you begin to wonder how you can focus less on what might go wrong and more on what, in fact, goes right. Of course, already you remember, from time to time, to stop and smell the roses, but even then, in the back of your mind, sometimes you suspect you're taking too much time enjoying yourself and you get serious again, shifting your attention to what is merely the possibility of future problems. But now, lying here in bed, wanting to set the mood for the rest of the day, you wonder how you can learn to completely enjoy every good moment that comes your way.
And then, as the sun streams in the window, you decide that perhaps the answer simply lies in thoroughly experiencing each moment as it happens. Then you will not miss the genuinely good moments by waiting for a challenge to appear. Of course, you know that when you do have to face a challenge, you will do it with courage and strength. In the meantime, you can enjoy the pleasure of being on this wonderful journey called life. And so, as you stretch and yawn, getting ready to arise, you take a mental reading of how you feel right now and you realize that, at least so far today, you feel fine. In fact, right now you feel pretty darn good and you decide that for the whole day today you will experience each and every moment just as it comes, especially reinforcing good feelings by acknowledging the potential for pleasure that lies within each moment.
And as you let these thoughts sink in, you have a sense of peace and calm you haven't felt for a long time. And then, as you begin to get out of bed, you feel more and more pleased with this sense of feeling better, of accepting what is true about this moment, this particular day. And you entertain the idea that not only do you feel good right now, the entire day holds promise of being a good one. Take a moment now to experience how it would feel to awaken each day with the willingness to embrace the potential for joy, love and the pleasant feelings that life has to offer from moment to moment. . . .
And now, imagine that when you get out of bed and go into the bathroom you look in the mirror and, on a whim, you say out loud to your reflection, "I feel pretty good right now. In fact, I am willing to entertain the possibility that today might even be a good day." Or you may even want to state: "I feel terrific right now. At this moment I look forward to the possibility of a marvelous day." And as you say exactly how you feel, you know, on a very deep level, that your sense of well-being is enhanced when your feelings are expressed fully and honestly. So as you tell your reflection in the mirror how good you feel, experience what happens throughout your body when you affirm yourself in this way. . . .
And as you tell yourself that you embrace the good feelings of the moment, you notice the mirror reflects your smile. And the smile is like a booster shot of pleasure. It increases the impact of your words and you realize that, indeed, this day is filled with opportunities to embrace wellness, wholeness and joy. So take a moment now to experience what it would feel like to look forward to a day in which every moment was open to the possibility of pleasure. . . .
And now, if you live with someone else, in your imagination you go to where that person is and say to them what you just told yourself. "I feel pretty good right now. In fact, I am willing to entertain the possibility that today might even be a good day." Or, "I feel terrific right now. At this moment I look forward to the possibility of a marvelous day." Your friend or family member smiles broadly at the news of a positive prognosis. And seeing the smile on the other person's face the lightness in your heart is increased and you know that part of the pleasure of the moment is in sharing your good feelings with someone else.
So now imagine you call a friend and you tell that person that you feel pretty good, or terrific, or whatever is true. In hearing your news, that person is so pleased for you that the joy in his or her voice gives you another boost of energy and you start to feel even better, realizing that we all need a cheering section. We all need people who can reflect not only our pains and struggles, but our accomplishments, hopes and joy. And now, take a moment to experience what it is like to share good feelings with others. . . .
And now imagine that the friend you called is overjoyed at good news. And because that person really is a first class member of your cheering section, he or she calls an acquaintance who works for the newspaper and tells a reporter that despite the trials and tribulations of your life, you have learned to live in the pleasure of each moment. Before you know it, the reporter has come to your house to write a story about you. You're amazed, of course, that something so simple as seeing the potential for pleasure in each moment-and in sharing that pleasure with others-would be of any interest to a newspaper. But the reporter tells you that, in the midst of all the turmoil of the modern world, people want to know that there are those who can face tough problems squarely and honestly and yet can also experience genuine joy in the pleasures of life. . . .
Imagine now that after the reporter leaves, you go about your usual activities. But today you do not experience them as you would have in the past. Instead, you are aware that each moment has the potential for pleasure and you are determined to find that pleasure in things both large and small. Notice where would you look to uncover the most likely sources of pleasure and how you would know you had found it. And notice who would be most interested in hearing of your pleasure and how you would share your joy with that person. Experience as completely as you can, in whatever way is best for you, what it would be like to fully live every moment of every day. . . .
And now imagine that when the local newspaper comes out later that afternoon there is a front page story about you, a person who, it is true, has troubles but a person who is learning to thoroughly enjoy every moment of the day, and to share that pleasure with others. And as you crawl into bed, you wonder whether possibly, just possibly, your decision to embrace your good feelings and to celebrate those feelings by sharing your joy with others may make tomorrow a day of pleasure as well. And so imagine now what it would be like to go to sleep looking forward to whatever tomorrow will bring, knowing you have learned to live in the moment, which is all any of us have. . . .
And now, become aware of the room once more and gently open your eyes, returning to awareness feeling fully alert and ready to experience whatever each moment will bring.
© Copyright 1997, Arlene Harder, MA, MFT
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