Increasing Couple Intimacy: Resources for Couples and Therapists
BY LYNNE AZPEITIA, MA, MFT
Couples come to therapy to experience, develop and increase the level of intimacy and satisfaction they experience in their relationships. They do this because they have some awareness that clearly communicating and intimately connecting with their partner on a continuous basis is an important ingredient in successful coupling. They are right about this. The ongoing practice of sharing, receiving and affirming each member of the couple’s personal experience is positively correlated with relational satisfaction, health, and longevity. These intimacy skills, which are so necessary to the vitality of each person and the couple relationship, must be learned and used if the relationship is to become and remain intimate. There is no substitute for this.
So, as every experienced couples therapist knows, the majority of couples do not begin their relationships equipped with these skills. They must learn them. How can they learn them? How can a therapist provide couples with these skills when they seek therapy? What is the most effective treatment?
A number of excellent and practical books for increasing couple intimacy and satisfaction have been published. Any therapist working with couples will find the following bibliography a treasure trove of effective and inspiring treatment approaches for working with couples. Couples wishing to better their relationships will find them interesting, informative and useful. Enjoy this bounty of guides that include Developmental, Narrative, Cognitive, Bowenian, Transpersonal, Family Systems, Psychodynamic, Voice Dialogue and PAIRS approaches.
 
Constructing the Sexual Crucible: An Integration of Sexual and Marital Therapy (Norton Professional Books)
By David M. Schnarch. Publisher: W W Norton & Company; ISBN: 0393701026; (August 1991)
Clients: Most motivated readers only; very challenging reading
Therapists: Yes
Written more for Therapists.
 
Embracing Each Other: Relationship As Teacher, Healer & Guide
by Hal Stone, Sidra Stone. Publisher: New World Library; ISBN: 1882591070; (December 1992)
Clients: Yes
Therapists: Yes
Easy to read.
 
In Quest Of The Mythical Mate
by Ellyn Bader, Peter T. Pearson (Contributor). Publisher: Brunner-Routledge; ISBN: 0876305168; (November 1988)
Clients: Yes
Therapists: Yes
Written for Therapists and Interested Clients. Intelligent writing.
 
Journey of the Heart: The Path of Conscious Love
by John Welwood. Publisher: Grove Press; ASIN: 0060164751; (October 1990)
Clients: Yes
Therapists: Yes
Written for the public. An inspiring book.
 
Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve
by Aaron T. Beck, M.D. Publisher: HarperCollins (paper); ISBN: 0060916044; Reprint edition (October 1989)
Clients: Yes
Therapists: Yes
Written for Clients and Therapists. A practical book.
 
Narcissism and Intimacy: Love and Marriage in an Age of Confusion
by Marion F. Solomon. Publisher: W.W. Norton & Company; ISBN: 0393309169; Reprint edition (September 1992)
Clients: Yes
Therapists: Yes
Written for Therapists and Interested Clients. Intelligent writing.
 
Passage to Intimacy: Key Concepts and Skills from the Pairs Program Which Has Helped Thousands of Couples Rekindle Their Love
by Lori H. Gordon, Ph.D., Jon Frandsen. Publisher: PAIRS Foundation, Ltd; ISBN: 0671795961; Revised edition (April 1, 2001)
Written for the public.
 
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships
by David Schnarch. Publisher: Henry Holt (Paper); ISBN: 0805058265; Reprint edition (May 1998)
Clients: Yes
Therapists: Yes
Written for Clients and therapists. Excellent writing. Good ‘how to’ information.
 
Permanent Partners: Building Gay & Lesbian Relationships That Last
by Betty Berzon. Publisher: Plume; ISBN: 0452263085; Reprint edition (January 1990)
Clients: Yes
Therapists: Yes
Written for Clients and therapists. Excellent writing. Good ‘how to’ information for all couples.
 
Resurrecting Sex: Resolving Sexual Problems and Rejuvenating Your Relationship
by David Morris Schnarch. Publisher: HarperCollins; ISBN: 006019359X; 1st edition (August 6, 2002)
Clients: Yes
Therapists:Yes
Written for Clients and therapists. Excellent writing. Good ‘how to’ information.
 
Rewriting Love Stories: Brief Marital Therapy
by Patricia O'Hanlon Hudson, William Hudson O'Hanlon (Contributor). Publisher: W.W. Norton & Company; ISBN: 0393310949; (January 1994)
Clients: Yes
Therapists: Yes
Written for Therapists and Interested Clients.
Successful Marriage: A Family Systems Approach to Couple Therapy (A Norton Professional Book)
by W. Robert Beavers. Publisher: W W Norton & Company; ASIN: 0393700062; (May 1985)
Clients: Yes
Therapists: Yes
Written for Therapists and Interested Clients.
 
The Evaluation and Treatment of Marital Conflict: A Four-Stage Approach
by Philip J., Jr. Guerin, Leo F. Fay, Susan L. Burden, Judith Kautto. Publisher: Basic Books; ISBN: 0465021123; (September 1989)
Clients: Yes
Therapists: Yes
Written for Therapists and Interested Clients. Intelligent writing.
 
The Fragile Bond: In Search of an Equal, Intimate, and Enduring Marriage
by Augustus Y. Napier. Paperback: 432 pages. Publisher: HarperCollins (paper); ISBN: 0060915986; (March 1990)
Clients: Yes
Therapists: Yes
Written for the public. A well written and inspiring book. Easy to read.
 
The Intimacy Dance: A Guide to Long-Term Success in Gay and Lesbian Relationships
by Betty Berzon. Publisher: Plume; ISBN: 0452277477; Reprint edition (September 1997)
Clients: Yes
Therapists: Yes
Written for clients and therapists. Easy to read. Excellent information for all couples.
 
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
by John Mordechai Gottman, Nan Silver. Publisher: Three Rivers Press; ISBN: 0609805797; (May 16, 2000)
Clients: Yes
Therapists: Yes
Written for clients and therapists. Very practical. Good ‘how to’ information. Easy to read.
 
Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last
by John M. Gottman, Nan Silver (Contributor). Publisher: Fireside; ISBN: 0684802414; (June 1995)
Clients: Yes
Therapists: Yes
Written for Clients and therapists. Very practical. Good ‘how to’ information. Easy to read.
© 2003 Lynne Azpeitia, MA, MFT, Support4Change |
