Guided Imagery Class 8:
 Easy Relaxation Techniques
BY ARLENE HARDER, MA, MFT
— PHOTO BY FABIAN
Classes 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
Knowing how to relax is a skill that often must be learned in our over-anxious and busy world, where even taking time for meditation can seem to cut into the things we "must do" each day.
This class is not really necessary for the minority of people for whom focused relaxation comes naturally. These lucky people can easily release muscle tension and quiet the mind. The rest of us, however, may only relax when we're falling asleep, watching TV, or looking at the sunset.
The trick is to relax AND at the same time stay focused on a single thought or tuned into the core of who we really are when we stop our mind-chatter.
Just as I didn't know for many years that I wasn't breathing properly, it was many years before I realized I didn't know how to experience this special kind of relaxation. What I have now learned, and want to pass on to you, is that relaxation is an essential skill if you want to control anxiety, reduce pain and take full advantage of imagery techniques.
The Relationship Between Relaxation and Imagery Techniques
As you have undoubtedly heard dozens of times, a constant state of anxiety or defensiveness creates muscle tension that builds up, over a period of time, until the person experiences problems that range from headaches and backaches to constipation and insomnia. This does not mean tension alone causes disease (see Evidence for a Mind-Body Connection), but it does point to the need, on a purely physical level, to learn relaxation skills in order to reduce or eliminate further tension-related problems. However, another benefit of learning focused relaxation, as formerly-tense people will attest, is that inner peace and serenity.
The value of relaxation for body, mind and soul rests upon the fact that you can't hold more than one thought at a time. During most of the day your mind is occupied with your responsibilities and on the relative importance you place on your wealth, status and opinions. However, when you consciously relax, you disconnect the neurons that keep your mind stirred up by constantly reviewing (and thus reinforcing) these thoughts. Further, when you focus on relaxing rather than on thinking, your muscles, previously controlled by your thoughts, are able to release their tension. Consequently, your body can move into a state of quiet, healing equilibrium, which allows you to be receptive to the insights and peace that lie at the center of your being. The more often you practice becoming quiet and still, the more easily and quickly you will create new (calmer) pathways for the neurons to travel.
Experimenting with Relaxation Techniques
In order to develop the ability to do focused relaxation, all you need is the incentive to learn and the willingness to make the practice of relaxation a conscious and daily part of health maintenance. You may need to experiment with a number of techniques, however, before you find one that fits you best. I discuss several of these methods to give you an idea of some ways you can start disconnecting those tension-building neurons. You can also use these ideas as a substitute for relaxation instructions on an imagery tape to which you are listening, because there are sometimes occasions when you may not care for the particular approach used by a guide on the tape, but would still like to use it for other reasons. (An additional resource for learning a variety of techniques is The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook, by Martha Davis, Elizabeth Eshelman and Matthew McKay.)
Getting Your Body Settled
Here are two ways to get your body ready for relaxation. Incidentally, you can gently close your eyes either before you start this process or when you are through and ready to focus within.
As you prepare to relax, allow your body to settle in as comfortable a position as possible, allowing the furniture (or floor if you are lying down) to completely support you. . . . and if there is some part of your body that distracts you, move a little so that part can be more comfortable.
When you sit back or lie down, notice how it feels to have your body touching the chair or bed or sofa. . . . Notice the sensation of your hands resting on your lap or on the furniture. . . Notice your feet and how they feel within your shoes and stockings or how they feel if you do not have them covered. . . . Simply be aware of how your body is wonderfully supported.
If you are still uncomfortable during the course of an imagery or meditation session, speak to that part of your body, telling it that you are aware of how it feels, but that you choose now to concentrate on relaxing. Let the discomfort fade into the background as you focus on the particular exercise you want to do. If that doesn't work, then allow yourself to move so that you may become more comfortable. Of course, I realize that some instructors would suggest you should stay with the experience of discomfort and watch that feeling change. That may be fine for more advanced work, but if you set up rigid roadblocks before you've learned how to relax, it will take you longer to learn the process than is necessary.
Progressive Relaxation
A number of exercises use a relaxation training system called progressive relaxation. With this technique, you tighten and then relax various muscle groups, noticing the difference between tension and release. The immediate feedback is especially good for people who they aren't even aware that they carry tension like a second layer of skin. You can practice a simplified version of this technique right now if you:
 Scrunch up your face and scalp as tightly as possible, hold this position for a moment, and then let your muscles droop.
Pull up your shoulders up and bring your arms firmly against your body, hold this position for a moment and then allow your arms to lie loosely at your sides and drop your shoulders.
Pull in your stomach and tighten your buttocks, holding for a moment before letting your lower body move comfortably back onto the chair again.
Tighten and then relax your hands.
Tighten and then relax your thighs.
Tighten and then relax your calves.
Tighten and then relax your feet.
Incidentally, while this is a good method to introduce relaxation to people who are unaware of when they are tense, I personally find it frustrating if it is on an imagery tape. I don't mind being guided through most relaxation steps that do a general process of relaxing, but I (and many of my clients) find the reminder to tighten and release muscles unnecessary if I have to listen to it before I get to the central message of the tape. Nevertheless, if this works best for you, I encourage you to use it.
Using Your Breath to Relax
As I pointed out in the last class, one of the easiest ways to develop effective relaxation techniques is to practice abdominal breathing. Taking one or two deep abdominal breaths is a good start, but you wouldn't want to hyperventilate for the whole session, so remember to always return to your natural rhythm of breathing, without any effort to change the pace or depth of your normal breathing pattern. Let your breath come and go in the natural way that it has been doing ever since the day you were born. Just observe how cool air gently enters your body when you inhale and how, when you exhale, you put a little bit of your warmth into the world.
As you experience the ebb and flow of each breath, gradually become more relaxed than you were a moment before . . . more peaceful . . . more comfortable. . . . With each breath, imagine that every cell of your body becomes at ease and all the tension, tightness or discomfort drains down your spine, down your legs, and then into the ground. Soon you will find yourself in a state of pleasant, relaxed consciousness.
Relaxing Without Paying Attention to the Breath
If you have problems with breathing, you may want to use this method. You may also find this works well if you don't have difficult breathing.
As you sit back, allow yourself to be completely supported by the chair and imagine that a wonderfully gentle and healing energy surrounds your body and that this very special energy can absorb any tension from your body, mind and spirit. If there is a color to this energy, notice what that color is. Then allow any worry, tension or discomfort to be released into this gentle light. You may even be able to notice if the light changes color as tension leaves your body.
One way you can use this idea of relaxation-creating energy is to imagine that you are sitting in a field of flowing energy that comes down through your body from the top of your head and flows out through the bottom of your feet. Then, just as you can experience a waterfall by trying to watch one drop as it falls from the top to the bottom, you can follow a piece of the energy as it moves through you.
Take Mini-Vacations Whenever You Want
Throughout the day there are many times when you may want to "get away from it all," but you can't just pack your bags and fly to a relaxing resort on Hawaii. The next best (and cheaper) thing, however, may be to use these suggestions for a mini-vacation.
1. Take a deep breath and, as you breath out, imagine all the tension in your body and mind leaves with this breath.
2. Take a moment to tense all the muscles you can at once. Then take a deep breath and slowly breathe out, letting all the tension go, imaging it is slowing moving down your back, through your legs, and into the ground.
3. Take an inventory of body tension, especially noticing the places you often carry stress. Wherever you feel tension, pretend that you can direct the exhale of your breath into that area and allow the tension to be released.
4. Count slowly to 6 while taking a deep abdominal breath. Hold your breath for a count of 2 or 3. Then breathe out slowly as you count to 6. If you think you can take a longer breath, try counting to 10.
5. Close your eyes and remember a beautiful place you once visited during a relaxing vacation and allow yourself to experience would it was like when you were there.
Class Exercise: Finding Serenity in Nature
The exercise for this class, Finding Serenity in Nature, is designed to create a sense of calm serenity by helping you realize that by simply being yourself you can experience deep serenity, poise and relaxation.
Class Symbol: Serenity
Reflecting on the exercise, allow an image or symbol to form that represents your willingness to live without pretense. An example might be a flower or someone you know whose ego doesn't seem to need constant stroking.
© Copyright 1997, Revised 2002, Arlene Harder, MA, MFT |
