Creating a Symbol for Difficult Situations

BY ARLENE HARDER, MA, MFT

Learn how to use a symbol to keep yourself centered when you're about to face a stressful situation.

This camellia grows on a bush next to our house and is the perfect illustration to help you find a symbol of support for doing something that may be difficult, like an upcoming diagnostic test or a visit from relatives with peculiar quirks.

Here is what I wrote in an article several years ago:

"I planned a workshop and knew that someone I admired would attend. I wanted her to like my presentation. But I was afraid I would be nervous and wouldn't do as well as I would have if she weren't there. During that morning's meditation time, therefore, I reflected on the situation and wondered what I could do.

"Easy," replied my subconscious, or wherever the intuition resides. "Just remain calm and everything will go well." Great! An answer I already knew. Of course I was likely to do well if I didn't keep thinking about how well I was doing and get all tense and bothered by her presence. What I needed was something more concrete, something to keep me from focusing on my performance. That's when I then asked a specific question, "So just how am I going to remain calm?"

Immediately a flower presented itself in my mind's eye (a lovely gift from my store of images) and I knew that I had an answer I could use. Getting up from my chair, I walked out to the front yard and picked a pretty pink camellia. Then I took it with me to the workshop and placed it on a table in front of the speaker's chair. Whenever I looked at the flower, I smiled inwardly and relaxed. There are times even now when I will bring a photograph of a flower and place it next to my notes. One glance is all I need to restore a sense of calm.

You, too, can access such symbols to help you through many difficult times. So my suggestion for today is very, very simple.

Sit back. Close your eyes. Think about a problem or upcoming situation about which you have some trepidation. Next, allow an image to arise that can support you when you're actually dealing with the thing about which you are worried.

Later, no one will need to know that you've wearing jockey shorts with a crazy pattern so you can have an inner chuckle when you think of them during a situation that is unnecessarily serious . . . or that you pretend the bottle of water you carry with you has a relaxing potion and every time you take a drink you let yourself get a bit calmer . . . or that the reason you're wearing a particular necklace is because it came from a friend who won't let others tell her what to do, and you intend to let some of her confidence come through when you speak to a person who tends to bully others.

The possibilities are limitless.

Good luck!!!

© Copyright June 12, 2000, Revised 2002, Arlene Harder, MA, MFT

ASK YOURSELF:

What Have I Learned That I Can Pass On?

I've learned that if someone asks "How are you doing?" it's not necessary to give them a full health report.

— Age 65

I've learned that when I'm angry, my mouth works faster than my brain.

— Age 58

I've learned that if you have a job without any problems, you don't have much of a job.

— Age 35

I've learned that there is no feeling quite so nice as your child's hand in yours.

— Age 37

These quotes come from Live and Learn and Pass it On, written and compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr., and are reprinted with permission.