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Home > Create Change > Reach Your Goals > Lessons of a Recovering Perfectionist

I couldn't resist sharing with you the following e-mail from a reader. I hope you will agree that his definition of perfectionism hits the nail on the head. See his bio in the sidebar. Growing up on a farm has taught him a few things about trying to be perfect.

Arlene Harder, MA, MFT


A Reader's Comment:

A View of Perfectionism From "a Ole Farm Boy"

I am just a ole farm boy that ran across your site. These are some of my thoughts. I actually was self-evaluating and unfortunately share some characteristics with perfectionist. I wish sometimes I could be surrounded by mirrors so that I could be made aware of how I am perceived by others from all directions. These are some definitions I came up with thinking about different situations: personal, work, parental, marriage,etc. If they sound like they came from Gomer Pyle it is because they came from someone like him in certain respects. Enjoy............or not

Perfection:

A goal that is bought and paid for by mistakes; the goal set by people that is only attainable when the purchase price has been satisfied.

In reality: a point that is (fictionally) reached when someone thinks the outcome can no longer be improved (self-perceived). This point reached has not been established by anyone other than the person making the observation that the point has been reached. The idea that there is a point and place in time when no further improvements can be made (self-destructive). A false belief.

A myth.

Someone's belief that the works, deeds, actions, words, and ideas of others can't approach the high level of completeness of our own.

A method (means) to madness (end).

An belief that the results justify the actions taken to obtain the desired results.

A level of completeness that is viewed at different levels by various people. Mistakes that are not made after mistakes have been made. A highly desirable, completely unreachable place.

A place reserved for GOD.

A Nirvana that is sought after while driving personal contacts, of those seeking it, crazy. A dynamic goal sought after by many and achieved by none.

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RONNIE MAEKER'S BACKGROUND

You have permission to use my name and background if you like. I think that as we move from what once was a rural (agriculture) based economy to where we are now and where we are heading, some values, traditions, critical thinking, problem solving, and other talents and beliefs have gotten reduced to outdated thinking modes. My thinking is that could not be farther from the truth. As we move farther from the foundation of the founding fathers of the U.S., the more our society degrades. We continue to try to put BandAids on gunshot wounds. We have shot ourselves in the foot and continue upward at a steady pace.

Just a little more information about myself. Grew up on a farm. Diesel mechanic by trade. Farmer, owned auto parts store, and am now enrolled in Radiography Technology at South Plains College in Lubbock, Tx. This is the next step in my continuing education. My goal is to at the least have a Master's degree...............in something.

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