To be the Best You Can Be, It Helps to Know Who You Are
BY ARLENE HARDER, MA, MFT
This review of The Identity Code that received five stars on Amazon.com explains the importance of understanding oneself.
Review of The Identity Code : The 8 Essential Questions for Finding Your Purpose and Place in the World by Larry Ackerman
 As I read The Identity Code, I was reminded of both Transformation Now (Or Maybe Later!) and the well-known poem titled "An Autobiography in Five Short Chapters" by Claudia Black, which is in the sidebar on the right.
In the article, I share the observation of clinicians that it's rare for us to wake up in the morning and decide to be the best we can be by changing a less-than-desirable personality quirk. True, we may be disappointed in our relationships and careers, but our first reaction is usually to assume our lives would be considerably better if other people would only shape up.
We may give lip service to the idea that we're responsible for how our lives turn out, but unless we realize it's our fault when we haven't looked and fall into a hole in the sidewalk, we aren't likely to reach for a book with the serious title of The Identity Code : The 8 Essential Questions for Finding Your Purpose and Place in the World.
However, if you have decided that maybe, just maybe, how your life turns out has something to do with you — and you are ready for self-discovery and introspection — you will find this book valuable. This is especially true if you like self-help books based on both theory and practice, since to get the most from each chapter you need to understand the concept of an "identity code," the "identity circle" and Identity Mapping (TM) exercises.
Identity work is clearly Ackerman's passion. He is group director for the international identity- and brand-consulting firm Siegel and Gale and is "widely regarded as the pioneer in the field of identity-based management." In The Identity Code Ackerman builds a theoretical scaffold of the "laws of identity" on which he hangs eight questions:
 The Law of Being: Who am I?
The Law of Individuality: What makes me special?
The Law of Constancy: Is there a pattern to my life?
The Law of Will: Where am I going?
The Law of Possibility: What is my gift?
The Law of Relationship: Who can I trust?
The Law of Comprehension: What is my message?
The Law of the Cycle: Will my life be rich?
According to those who have reviewed the book on Amazon.com, an analysis of one's identity appears to be a powerful technique for change, since he got five star ratings (from five reviewers). The first review seems typical: "Whether you embark on the journey Ackerman recommends or simply find this book a source of introspection, it is a volume well worth reading."
Early in the book Ackerman addresses the issue of choice in our lives by saying:
The myth of personal freedom — the idea that you are at liberty to pick whatever path in life you want — is the unspoken agony of the modern person. It ignores the fact that life has order, and that that order bears heavily upon your choices — on what makes sense to do with the time you have. The good news is that although you can't be anything you want to be, you have more potential than you know.
Initially this statement seemed at odds with a book I recently read titled Refuse to Choose!: A Revolutionary Program for Doing Everything That You Love by Barbara Sher, written for those who have so many interests they don't know what to do. She recommended such people not feel hemmed in by society's stricture to choose.
The more I read of The Identity Code, however, the more I realized the authors don't really contradict one another. Perhaps an Amazon.com reviewer said it best:
Acknowledging your identity helps you reduce the number of options you have without being too restrictive. More importantly, understanding your identity provides you with a tool to help you evaluate the options before you in terms of what matters most deeply to you.
I would recommend both books if you are fascinated by the many choices life offers and struggle to decide what you want to do. You can't do everything, but you can do far more than you originally thought. It all begins with understanding yourself.
© Copyright 2006, Arlene Harder, MA, MFT
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