A life coach personal development idea:
Who Are You?
BY LEA BRANDENBURG
Reprinted with permission
Define yourself and discover your identify by who are you, rather than by what you do
If someone were to ask you to talk about yourself, what would the first words out of your mouth be? Would they be: "I'm an IT specialist." "I'm a business owner." "I'm a stay-at-home Mom." "I'm an artist." "I'm a manager at a dot.com company." Do you find yourself telling others about what you do, rather than sharing who you are with them? Do you define yourself by what you do?
The danger of defining yourself by what you do, rather than by who you are, is that circumstances change. When circumstances change you may run the risk of losing how you identify yourself.
For example, a high level manager may be laid off and find that she is asking for work from the same employment agencies she used to hire staff last week. She has gone from being a decision maker to someone relying on the decisions of others to help her find work. A small business owner identifies himself with the product he is selling. The more product he sells, the better he feels about himself. The less he sells, the more he begins to doubt himself. The product has become a measure of his worth as a human being. A stay-at-home Mom may find herself divorced. With the divorce, she no longer has access to the conditions that allowed her to experience the pride and identity she felt by caring for her husband, children and home. An actor is in between acting jobs. He no longer considers himself an artist, because he is between jobs. He derives his identity from the work, rather than knowing he is an artist who creates whether he has employment or not.
So, who are you? What does it mean to derive your identity from who you are rather than by what you do?
Well, for one thing you could get off the emotional roller coaster that comes from defining yourself by external sources: your job, the things you own, whether someone purchases your services or wants or doesn't want what you have to offer. The emotional highs and lows that come from defining who you are by external circumstances won't have an impact on you when you shift your focus to your inner attributes.
Every human being is delightfully unique. What qualities make up the unique you? Are you loving, kind, assertive, sensitive, inquisitive, silly? Are you a combination of all these characteristics? Do you know what your strengths are? Are you aware of what your values are? When we live from our values we concentrate on the process rather than the end result. We do things for the joy of doing them, not because they define us. What you do is only a small part of the incredible entity that you are.
Conditions will change in your life, but you will continue to be the magnificent being that you are. Take a moment now to shine a light within and own who you are. Make a list of the top ten qualities that make you — YOU. Once you identify who you are, remember to stay connected to this place. It will give you a solid foundation no matter what circumstance you experience.
© 2002, Lea Brandenburg
Lea Brandenburg is president of Creating Strategies in New York, NY, and has been coaching an international group of clients and businesses since 1997. Her areas of expertise and passion are interpersonal and business communication, intuitive intelligence and creativity. She is a graduate of CoachInc, the coaching industry's premiere and oldest training program, a member of the International Coach Federation, which is an association dedicated to preserving the integrity and ethics of the coaching profession, and a Founding Member of Coachville, the first on line coaching training company and portal. You can contact her at lea@creatingstrategies.com or calling (917) 770-8215. |
