March 16, 2010
Ask yourself questions about following rules to help you better understand why a relationship between you and another person may be strained or broken.
These questions are part of a series on understanding how your personality affects your relationships, especially those that are strained or broken.
The questions today are simple and have to do with a topic we generally don’t talk about much: it’s the way in which some of us are sticklers for following the rules (perfectionists particularly) and others who rebel against rules. If you and another person are at loggerheads, perhaps that is one of your problems.
Exploring Your Personality #16: Following the Rules
ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS
Would others consider me agreeable, conventional, conforming, suggestible, and/or indecisive?
Do I sometimes feel I understand others, but then realize I don’t because I’ve been too focused on pleasing them? If so, why do I think this is true of me?
Might someone say that I act bored, want to make a good impression, go by the book, and am nice but rigid, strong and silent?
What do the answers to these questions say about my relationship with others?
To explore other questions and related material see Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life and Healing Relationships is an Inside Job.
February 24, 2010
Ask yourself questions about flexibility and inflexibility to help you better understand why a relationship between you and another person may be strained or broken.
These questions are part of a series on understanding how your personality affects your relationships, especially those that are strained or broken.
Exploring Your Personality #14: Flexibility and Inflexibility
ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS
Does it take time for me to adjust to new situations and unexpected circumstances? If not, why do I think I am flexible? If so, why do I think I have trouble being flexible?
Would I like to roll with the punches better than I do? If so, how do I imagine I would do things differently?
To explore other questions and related material see Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life and Healing Relationships is an Inside Job.
February 11, 2010
Ask yourself questions about worry and self-doubt to help you better understand why a relationship between you and another person may be strained or broken.
These questions are part of a series on understanding how your personality affects your relationships, especially those that are strained or broken.
Exploring Your Personality #12: Worry and Self-Doubt
ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS
Do I tend to be a worrier and self-doubter, overly-cautious, meek and predictable in interpersonal relationships? Why?
Do I tend to be easily fooled? Why?
To what degree do I avoid conflict and act inconsistent, indecisive and uncertain in order to reduce conflict?
To explore other questions and related material see Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life and Healing Relationships is an Inside Job.
February 1, 2010
Ask yourself questions about how avoiding difficult situations may affect a relationship between you and another person that is strained or broken.
These questions are part of a series on understanding how your personality affects your relationships, especially those that are strained or broken.
Exploring Your Personality #10: Avoiding Difficult Situations
ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS
Do I react to stressful situations or reduce anxiety by letting someone else take care of a problem?
Do I tend to avoid contact with people, or put off doing a task, out of fear of failure or feeling my personal security, as opposed to physical safety, is threatened?
Am I sometimes jealous of people who seem to be open to experiencing life and growing in ways I won’t allow myself to be? Why or why not?
To explore other questions and related material see Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life and Healing Relationships is an Inside Job.
January 28, 2010
Explore how and whether your perfectionism may be impacting your relationships.
These questions are part of a series on understanding how your personality affects your relationships, especially those that are strained or broken.
Exploring Your Personality #9:
Perfectionism
ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS
Do I have the sense that others want me to achieve something well even if they don’t say it? Why do I feel that way?
- Am I impatient with my own errors and notice that images of past failures plague me? How do I keep reminding myself of what I haven’t done well enough?
- Do others tell me that I set my standards too high for anyone to reach? What do they say?
- If someone makes a comment about a topic of which I know something, do I feel I have to make certain they know that I, too, know about it? If so, when was the last time I did this?
- How do my answers shed light on my relationship with someone with whom I have a strained or broken relationship?
SPECIAL NOTE: I’ve often written about perfectionism and you may want to check out the articles on Support4Change on the subject: Lessons of a Recovering Perfectionist.
To explore other questions and related material see Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life and Healing Relationships is an Inside Job.
