This post is part of the “Step Into Pictures” series that offers you a new way to explore both difficult relationships and those you treasure. Visit the Step Into Pictures Archive to learn more about it.
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A striking sunset over the Fraser River near Coquitlam, Canada
When looking for a sunset picture on Wikimedia, I was attracted to this picture by Chad Teer for two reasons.
One is the color of the sunset. Wouldn’t that be a great background to share old times with a friend or gently discuss disagreements with someone who might soften their disagreements under the influence of that sky? Read more »
Three times a week I get in the pool at my retirement community and do aquatic aerobics with a bunch of old women. With the exception of one woman whose genes came wrinkle-free, our bodies sag. We have moles and brown spots. The underside of our upper arms are flabby. I won’t even mention the shape, or lack thereof, of our breasts.
In other words, three times a week I can compare how my body looks and how the bodies of six or so other women look in bathing suits. It ain’t a pretty sight — neither mine nor theirs. However, I am getting better at not comparing myself with others quite so much. It involves an acceptance of the reality of time.
What do you do when you find out that
your assumptions about someone were wrong?
A few years ago, a man I’ll call “Max” read a poem I had written for Support4Change and asked if he could use it on his website. This began a friendship in which we talked about ways I might support his work with people who have learning disabilities like dyslexia, and how he might promote my work on repairing relationships.
I took a trip to Houston to meet him and, while our collaboration didn’t get off the ground, I liked him and wanted to keep up the friendship. He comes from a very well-known family and I wanted to learn more about them.
Then one day about two years ago, I happened on a website with information about him and discovered, to my dismay, that he held extreme right-wing political views, including support of the Tea Party and secession of Texas from the union. I couldn’t believe it. How did I miss seeing that his views were extremely different than mine?
Unfortunately, I lost touch with him after that because I was busy writing a book, focusing on my health, moving to a retirement community, and dealing with the death of my husband. He was busy building his organization and learning how to be a new father.
Then, three weeks ago, I found the opportunity to begin a dialogue when he sent me an invitation to participate in a special guided tour of England. While I can’t go on that tour, this gave me the chance to write him about assumptions I have about him that aren’t true.
Words of Encouragement Everyone Needs is an audio imagery exercise that takes the listener through the stages of childhood to help discover the affirmations he or she may not have heard when they were growing up.
Based on my personal experience and the experience of my clients. Letting Go of Our Adult Children is out of print but I have made it available online at no charge. Currently, I am working on the second edition.