ARE
YOU BURDENED BY A STRAINED OR BROKEN RELATIONSHIP?
ARE YOU . . .
A
parent whose grown children won’t talk to you anymore,
or who see you as seldom as possible, because they feel you
haven't done enough for them, or for any of a hundred different
reasons?
An
adult whose parents reject you because you married
outside your faith or race, chose to live in a way in which
your parents disapprove, or for any of a hundred different
reasons?
A
spouse whose relationship has many conflicts but
whose partner is not willing to go to marriage counseling?
A
family member who no longer participates
in family events because you are tired of disagreements
over a bitterly fought inheritance battle, or for any of a
hundred different reasons?
Someone
whose friend no longer will see you, and you don't know why?
OR DO YOU .
. .
Continue
to be distressed by guilt, resentments, and regret because
of a relationship with someone who is no longer living
or who is separated by distance and not willing to continue
the relationship?
Have
conflicts with others because you are a perfectionist and
hold high standards for yourself and others that are almost
impossible to meet?
IF YOU FIT INTO
ANY OF THOSE CATEGORIES, BETTER TOMORROWS CAN HELP YOU
Let
me introduce myself. My name is Arlene Harder and the reason I say
that the Better Tomorrows Program can help you is because it is exactly
the kind of program I needed years ago when our oldest son began to
clash with our family rules and was forced to leave the house.
I went from being the parent of a
child with great potential to being the parent of a child
whose whereabouts I didn't know. To say my heart was filled
with grief and guilt would be an understatement.
Even though I became a licensed marriage
and family therapist, it wasn't until many years had passed
that I discovered the five stages that lead to healing. Today
I have a much better relationship with our son, even though
he has some of the same difficulties he had when he was a
young adult.
In 1994, I wrote about my personal journey
and observations of working with clients with family relationship
issues in a book called Letting
Go of Our Adult Children: When What We Do Is Never Enough.
In 2008, I wrote Ask
Yourself Questions and Change Your Life, finalist of the
2008 Indie Publishing Award, for those who are tired of wishing their
lives were different and are ready to make it happen, but don't trust
themselves to know what to do.
Over the years, I co-founded two nonprofit
cancer support organizations and am the creator of four websites,
with primary emphasis on two of them: Support4Change.com and ChildhoodAffirmations.com.
Thousands of people each month make use of the rich content on these
sites.
However, as pleased as I am to have
accomplished all this, the greatest personal joy
I have is in making progress in healing the relationship
I have with my son, even though it is not perfect. It is
because I want others to avoid many of the pitfalls of my
journey that I have created Better Tomorrows. I believe you
will find in this program steps to healing that will make
your heart lighter and all your relationships more satisfying.
Explore
whether the full Better Tomorrows Program can meet your needs.
STAGE
ONE: Recognizing
that the expectations for your relationship with someone
have not been met.
STAGE
TWO: Trying to
get the other person to change through manipulation,
anger, blame, and confessions of guilt — and finding
none of these tactics work.
This
is the stage where most of us spend far too much
time. However, if you are ready
to move on, Better Tomorrows can help you!
STAGE
THREE: Looking
closely at what you may be doing to perpetuate the situation
and at the steps you can take to approach your relationship
from a more positive perspective.
STAGE
FOUR: If working
on yourself does not change the other person, or help you
find a solution past the issues that divide you, then this
is time for grieving for what is not possible and releasing
the past.
STAGE
FIVE: Resolving
to accept life as it unfolds without demanding the other
person, and your relationship with him or her, turn out
the way you want things to turn out.
DISCOVER
COURAGE
Many people with strained and broken
relationships can't seem to make it past the second stage, trying
and trying to get the other person to see things the way they
see them.
If that is true for you, how can you
move beyond an issue, or several issues, that lie between you
and another person?
How can you repair a stressful
relationship with your adult child, parent, sibling,
extended family member, or friend?
How can you take off the heavy
burden you carry and eliminate all you don't need,
leaving just enough essentials to carry in a simple "fanny
pack" (or as
they say down under, a "bum bump") and
in that way find peace?
You begin with courage, for healing requires
courage to change. And you have courage, because
you've actively searched for information on healing, which has
brought you to this page.
REMEMBER:
It takes courage to sort through the
complexity of a difficult relationship and discover what you
can do to make it better.
It takes courage to shift your focus
from insisting that the other person must first change
before your heart can heal.
It takes courage to recognize that the
only person you can change is yourself.
It takes courage to make any relationship
work well.
USE YOUR COURAGE
TO EXPLORE . . .
. . . what might
be keeping your relationship from working, you will
discover that not only does this help the relationship
you want to heal, but other relationships tend to improve
as well. In fact, your whole life changes for the better.
Courage is contagious.
SEE
A SNEAK PREVIEW OF ONE OF THE COMPONENTS OF THE PROGRAM
Be
sure to have your sound turned on.
WITH
BETTER TOMORROWS YOU CAN . . .
1. View
your relationship from a new perspective and realize how you can change in order to
help the relationship change
2. Discover
your strengths and
recognize that where you are right now and how you see yourself
is the starting point for healing not only your relationship
but yourself as well.
3. Learn
the importance of those things in your past that
have contributed to who you are and
to how you see life.
4. Learn
how to control
emotions
that threaten to overtake you when you want to respond more
calmly to others.
5. Answer
the call to action for healing your relationship by choosing a
goal that will help you do what must be done if you
want to improve your situation.
6. Discover
the gift of peace you give yourself when you are able to let
go of what you can no longer do anything about and
when you forgive both yourself
and the other person.
7. Develop
a greater
awareness of your true self and the ability to manage
the disparate parts of yourself that can get caught
in a relationship and so prevent you from seeing the
possibility of healing.
8. Learn
how to open your heart and to live in the joy of the moment, preventing ego from destroying
love
9. Explore
a practical approach to discussing family disagreements with
an open mind and to moving into the future with confidence
in healing relationships inside, and outside, your
family.
Explore
whether the full Better Tomorrows Program can meet your needs.
I want to share my feelings
about your series on Better Tomorrows. When I
called you about a year ago, I was feeling quite
sad about where I was with my relationship with
my son. Although, my parenting responsibilities
were less since he was 19, I still worried about
his health and well-being.
After reading many of
your modules, I could see what I had done 'wrong,'
and begin to correct my own bad behavior from
enabling him and allowing him to continue treating
me and himself disrespectfully.
Thank you for all of your
research, hard work and the desire to help others
who feel like they have failed. It is nice to
know there are people out there who share positive
information and have a desire to help others
feel better.
Lisa H.
What an amazing program
you’ve put together here. The flow of all
the information, as it moves the reader / listener from
one topic to another and guides them step-by-step . .
. . just fantastic.
Brennan S.
Thank you
Arlene for this program, it transformed my life.
I improved my relationship
with my family as well as others. I learned to forgive
myself as well as those who have wronged me, thus
removing the burden that I’ve been carrying
for a long time. I realized now that the
only person I can control is myself.
I recommend this program
to those individuals who have unresolved issues in
their lives.
Alma A.
FREE
INTRODUCTORY MATERIAL
No Obligation
to Purchase the Program
Introduction
and Table of Contents of Healing Relationships is an Inside Job in
PDF Format
Two
Preview Exercises illustrating
the kinds of exercises found in the complete program
Audio
guided imagery exercise titled "Meeting Your Friendly
Inner Advisor" that can be downloaded to
an MP3 player or listened to on your computer. This is
a powerful technique for discovering strengths and resources
within you that you didn't know you had -- and for uncovering
answers to questions your logical mind may have missed.
The
Law of Attraction In Action, Volume 2, a
289 page ebook of The Law of Attraction in Action,
Volume 2 written by gold members of Wonderful
Web Women from around the world. In here you will find
50 articles, some by best-selling authors,
ending with a series of practical actions you can take
today to start achieving success in your life. On
page 49 you will find my article titled “Living
With a Perfectionist: Advice to Families from a Therapist
Who is Also a Recovering Perfectionist.”
ARE
YOU BURDENED BY A STRAINED OR BROKEN RELATIONSHIP?
A
parent whose grown children won’t talk to you anymore,
or who see you as seldom as possible, because they feel you
haven't done enough for them, or for any of a hundred different
reasons?
Continue
to be distressed by guilt, resentments, and regret because
of a relationship with someone who is no longer living
or who is separated by distance and not willing to continue
the relationship?
Explore
whether the full Better Tomorrows Program can meet your needs.
