Memories and Questions Can Uncover Purpose and Passion
BY ARLENE HARDER, MA, MFT
By exploring the things you love to do, your strengths and skills, and what you'd do even if you weren't paid, you can discover your purpose in life.
You can begin a process of discovering your purpose in life, or rediscovering a purpose you previously held that has become neglected and forgotten, with two simple techniques. One is recalling times in the past when you had a strong sense of the direction you should go and followed it. The other technique is answering several questions you may not have thought to ask yourself.
Incidentally, you will probably get more from this process if you don't try to force the memories and answers but allow your responses to bubble up from your subconscious in whatever way feels most comfortable. You will gradually get a sense of the direction in which you want your life to flow, much as a caterpillar needs to go into a chrysalis before it can emerge as a butterfly.
Your memories can help define the purpose of your life. So recall a time when . . .
People wanted you to do something and you chose very deliberately not to do it. This may have happened in childhood or later as an adult. As your memories of this event come back to you, experience as fully as you can how it felt to stand up for what you believed in, to choose your own way.
You were very excited about a goal, either large or small, because it was something you wanted to do very much. Remembering that event, experience what it is like to move with determination toward something you want, even if you don't accomplish it as well as you had hoped.
Fate, luck, God, or whatever you would call it, placed an opportunity in your path and, because you took that opportunity, the direction of your life was changed. Experience what it feels like to take advantage of circumstances and challenges you had not expected, but which offer you a chance to grow in some way you would not have been able to grow otherwise.
You were quiet and your mind was not chattering, as it often does, and out of seemingly nowhere came a flash of inspiration showing you just what you needed to do to resolve some problem you were having. Experience as clearly as you can what it feels like to listen to your intuition, to follow your own inner guide.
You achieved something important and others praised you for it. Experience what it felt like to have others acknowledge your achievements.
You accomplished something you wanted to do, but no one else knew you had done it. Experience what it is like to do something well, whether or not others know about it.
Questions can guide you in your quest to discover a deeper purpose in life.
What do you love?
What do you like doing so much that it recharges your batteries even when you're too tired to do anything else?
What are your strengths and skills?
Was there ever something in your life that was so important to you that you felt at the time you absolutely had to accomplish it in order for your life to have meaning? Did you do it? And if you didn't, what got in the way?
Is there something you would like to do if money, time or energy were not a factor? And when you realize what that is, ask yourself how you might get the money, time or energy to do it.
One final question deals with the principles and values upon which you have built your life up to this point.
Like everyone else, you have chosen, out of the many possible religions and philosophies, one approach, or a combination of several, that resonates most clearly within you. Even if you follow the faith of your parents and accept their values, the question to ask yourself, in order to deepen your understanding of how you make decisions, and thus how you might discover your purpose, is:
What is it within you that caused you to choose your values, your beliefs and your philosophy of life?
All of these questions can guide you toward an overarching purpose for your life. When, in addition, you need to overcome some difficulty, there are seven questions you can ask every day that will remind you to live with purpose even when the going gets tough. (See Living With Purpose When Facing a Challenge.)
© Copyright 1994, Arlene Harder, MA, MFT |
